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tv   [untitled]    March 3, 2012 1:00am-1:30am PST

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i'm,ihache and if you have any problems, let me know. thank you and enjoy your bath. he puts the three young men in the room right next door to the samurai. nice hot bath. feels good after a day of traveling. [singing] feels good huh? hey! why don't we have a party tonight.
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great idea. let's invite some geisha girls. we're on holiday so let's order the very best saki. later that night. [whispering] whoa! three gorgeous geisha girls come on in. okay. let's start the party. [music] whoa! yeah. hey! [music] [laughter]
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[singing] in the next room, the samurai was trying write a letter. [music playing in background],iha chi. iha chi! the samurai is calling me. i wonder what is wrong. did you call me?
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yes,iha chi! i'm sorry. next door being noisy. sorry i will go and tell them to be quiet. very, very sorry. [loud party noises] come on in. excuse me. sorry. can you keep the noise down please? be a little bit quieter. huh? be quiet. look at this. three young men on holiday. three beautiful geishas and all this expensive saki we ordered from you and you tell us to be quiet. actually we don't mind but someone next door complained.
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someone complained? about us? tell them to come here and complain to our faces. no. no. wait! i understand. they're just jealous. we're here having a good time and they're all alone, right? that's it. they're just jealous. maybe so but actually it's not just an ordinary person that complains. what do you mean not an ordinary person? someone with three heads, six legs? a ghost? very funny, sir, but actually it's a samurai. samurai? next door? why didn't you tell us. we don't like samurais? sometimes they just kill people by mistakes. sorry about that.
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samurai? okay. okay. we understand and we'll be quiet. okay. ladies sorry. parties over. see you next time. sorry. we will go to bed now. shall i bring out the futons. yes but don't put them in a row. put the heads together so we can talk in bed. is it okay for us to talk in bed. that's no problem talk as much as you like. okay. thank you. samurai next door told us to shut up. that's okay. i don't mind. these things happen when you travel. any way it's a good story to tell our friends back home. i remember that night when the samurai told us to shut up.
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[laughing] by the way did you see the sumo tournament? the grand finals. no. i missed it. >> you missed a great fight! what happened? dynasty made a great move - actually, - -su mo. okay. i take your word. wait. wait. wait. if you're doing, sumo you need a judge. [noises]ow!
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h iiiha chi. samurai is calling me. what's wrong now. did you call me? yes. oh, no, next door being noisy again. so, sorry, i'll go and tell them to be quiet. sorry, sorry. excuse me. [ noises] hey! come and join us. sorry but can you be quiet please, samurai. samurai?
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samurai? sorry we forgot. sorry. samurai. okay. we'll be quiet. unbelievable. that was your fault. you were the one that started talking about, sum. that was you making all the noise. shhhhhhh be quiet. let's change the subject. what shall we talk about now. we talked about sports. the weather. no. i know. let's talk about [whistles] women, love, romance, passion. look at us. we're not popular with the
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ladies. we haven't got any stories. actually we've got no experience. wait! i've got a story. i had an experience. you? yeah. actually i've never told you this before but in my younger days i used to work in a kimono shop. you did? yes. and 8 years ago i went to the house of the samurai to sell kimonos and the samurais name was,uto,gotomosh. but when i arrived only the samurais wife was home. sam ris wife? i bet she was gorgeous! oh, yes, she was very sexy, beautiful lady and she invited
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me into the back room and served me sak . go on! go on! well i stayed there all afternoon. talking and drinking saki and suddenly she looked at me and said, mr. kimono man, come closer. closer. and she looked me right in the eyes and said, i think i'm falling in love with you. i am! i love you. i want you. i need you. then she started taking off her kimono. she started to take off her -
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what happened next! calm down. i can't. i'm just so jealous. wow you must have had a wonderful night together. you think so? yeah. actually, no. no. just because right as i was kissing her. samurais brother suddenly came home. diver suddenly came home. what happened? well, when he saw us he was so angry and he puld out his sword and was going to kill me. oh! how exciting. it was not exciting. what happens. as he ran towards me, he
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slipped on the shiney floor and dropped his sword. so, i picked it up and i cut him down! you killed? that's right. at that point the wife took out 100 yellow gold coins and said, come on, let's run away together. now is our chance, let's go, let's go. and did you? no. i cut her down from behind. you killed the samurais wife? my god! why did you do such a terrible thing. because then there's no proof. no proof. ah, right. so, you killed two people and got all the gold and nobody knows about it and your
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still a free man. your really smart. your a real lady killer! get it? lady killer. your a playboy! [singing]hia chi! hia chi! [yawns] oh, samurai is calling again. i wonder what is wrong. oh, i'll never get any sleep tonight. samurai did you call me? yes,iha chi, come in. listen? oh, no. next door being noisy again.
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i'll go tell them to be quiet. not this time. hia chi let me introduce myself. my name is goto motimoshi and 8 years ago my wife and brother will were killed and i've been searching since for the man who did it. fortunately, i found him. congratulations! where? here. here? the man next door and i'm going to kill him. tell him to come here now. go tell him to come here now. [crying] excuse me.
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[singing] come on in and listen to this story! is it the story about gatomoshi. how do you know. because the samurai next door is him. he's going to kill you. kill me? no. listen, it wasn't me. it was somebody else. i just hear that story. i'm sorry. last month and i thought that's good story but actually it wasn't me. it was another man. it wasn't you? oh, no. someone else. go tell samurai, please! okay. i'll try but, i don't know if
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he'll listen. he's very, very angry. please! please! samurai - where is he? bring him to me! wait. let me explain. he said actually it wasn't him. it was somebody else and he just told the story. i'm sorry. it wasn't him. it was another man. another man? i don't think so. he did it and i'm going to kill him! bring him here now. please! please! don't kill him here in this hotel if you kill him here, everybody will think it's a dangerous place and no one will stay here and it will be the end of my business. please don't kill him here.
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okay. i understand your situation. all right. then i will fight him tomorrow morning at the temple. is that okay? thank you so much. thank you! but if he tries to escape tonight i will kill all of them and you too! me too? why me too? excuse me. iha chi is everything okay. no. i told him what you said but he didn't believe me. he's going to kill you. kill me? here? now? no. he said he will fight you
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tomorrow morning at the temple. if you try to escape tonight he'll kill you and your friends and me too! friends? we're not his friends! we just met him. we hardly no each other. the man was so panic stricken and afraid that they couldn't sleep all night. they just sat in total silence. it was a very quiet night. the next morning,hia chi, hia chi! oh, this is a voice i will never ever forget.
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samurai, good morning. oh, good morningiha chi come on. i had a very good sleep last night. very good. wonderful. yes, so i'd like to pay my bill. keep the change. thank you. thank you. and now, i'm leaving. leaving? what about the fight at the temple? huh? oh, that! no,iha chi that was just a lie. what? a lie? why would you tell such a lie. because,iha chi i just wanted a quiet night!
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[applause] [music]
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>> hi and welcome back to authors who make you think. i appreciate you wanting to think on a beautiful saturday afternoon. 8 years ago in the ban shell at golden gate park. jonathan, one of our readers was there. 20 readers and 8 afternoons and now there are venues around the city. i will read a few poems. the first one is, after the bleeding. it was inspired by 2 photos that were in the san francisco chronicle in june 2005. the first, i will read the
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captions. photo captions. and follow with the poem. children watch as police collect pieces of bodies from a suicide bombing. front page photo caption san francisco chronicle june 14, 2005. >> the not guilty verdicts in the michael jackson trial. front page photo caption, san francisco chronicle june 14, 2005. after the bleeding the blood spattered walls draw the gaze of children wanting to see what has caused such a noise. how can they not stair. arms and legs, pieces of torso scattered, the smell of new death and feared hair. they must be asking the same question. a person who blows themselves up must believe in something. must believe in something or
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else not. hopelessness degreesed in apnigzs, righteousness disguised in a tuxedo of death much the children don't understand. i being of the dead dying man the bleeding bystanders who left to buy cheese or tobacco. in car bombs suicide bombs and we keep talking as though this will end like the final judgment of that black man who looks white and sleeps with boys but doesn't touch them. after the bleeding the children's shoes will be forever stained in the crimson color of death. who will set the doves free then. >> the next is sdaefrt on the horizon. i'm sure many of you have seen
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or heard regularly in the news. my father came from iran so every time i see those headlines and get an article in my e mail i have this moment of panic thinking about my family members in iran who might be the next victims of this terrible war administration this is, disaster on the horizon. it begins with words. daggers of men who bleed their nations of hope kill any promise. here is war, a bag full of hate posturing angry man rhetoric unleashing disaster on the horizon. war has no face like a genie it doesn't go back in the bottle. the witchary gives nothing it is
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a tornado that sucks up life, spits out ashes and broken minds i can feel in my bones. near as anyone who's face i see who's eyes i hold tight fixod this comp us i see the war coming breaking lose in the mouths. they are monsters who can't see the people who will weep. they're are creators of the destruction that begins on the tongue and ends in the cold eyes of tomorrow. [applause] >> last year, i read 9 stories in my allotted 6 minutes this year i thought i would be ambitious and do 10. first is called cosmology. after they learned that the universe was a mass produced toy tossed by a goddess they no longer wondered by laws was sure in the clockwork in a wind up bird were shot with
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uncertainties. optimists contributed the reason to the fact that the toy was broken. pessimists acknowledged this. but insistd that in it's broken state could the cosmos belong to those who lives within. the goddess grown found the universe under board games in a closet. she did not give it to her children. she did not have it fixed by her husband instead slipping away now and then from her family she delighted in the haphazard way it ran. the release in her life. >> the next one is entitled. explanation. twisted tree branches explain exactly themselves. the next is called, a simple
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story. his love was too simple. if he met a woman who imagined what it would it be like to be her husband. he learned she was already attached. if she did interest in him he would bring her fresh oranges. she'd leave him certain that no man could love truly to such scant evidence. his evidence was not meager he was not trying to judge her. his love was too simple and he belonged to her simply if her love was as simple as his. immigration. their final night together before she had to go back home, she clung to him as if he were a mighty sclif and between them and morning was an awful abyss.
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as they slept though neither felt it happening by dawn not even their finger tips were touching. he shivered and reached for her. the woman's hazy blue ice opened one at a time they took a while to focus when they did they appeared not to be looking at his skin but surveying a foreign land. >> this is called, regrets. if only she known as on her deathbed she would not find the love of her life she would have reached the same great age but never have lived. next is retirement. the pampered old cat slept day and night happily dreaming about napping. [laughter] and slightly shorter than that called, quartery.
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>> the bug that crawled across the key board didn't leave word. the next story is a second chance. after their myth was written, echo was permitted to mayor nar sisz who spurned herrode to be shunned by his own cold reflection. she tried not to fret that vanity diminished him. what would have been the thrill and mystery thrilled her nippled body leaving a mockary of a voice. she carried him back to her cavern, still, there lives together was wanting and not only because in their condition they had trouble conceiving children. they became a

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